Girl, You Good?

If you haven't seen the movie "Girl's Trip" slap yourself! It was funny, relevant, honest, and raunchy( with its fair share of chocolate eye candy). There were so many underlying messages some people may have missed. I was doing my daily web troll when I ran across an article from the Huffington Post titled " Don’t forget to check on your strong friend" It just emphasized the importance of communicating about how your friends are feeling, and being aware before you lay the heavy stuff on them. I could relate. I love my friends like family, I’m always curious about how their day went, how the new relationship is going, how the kids are etc. Have you ever just felt like you were beginning to carry some of their load? If you are really close to your people their problems will eventually manifest within you. We all have friends with craziness going on in their lives. I am always calling my 2 closest friends when I’m having a “moment” as I like to call it. Sometimes, I get overwhelmed with their stuff and mine. I try to clear my mind but It’s not just my issues I’m trying to declutter but theirs too. So how do we keep our good mojo going, while being a good friend? You never want your friends feeling like you’re an ass by not wanting to hear what is troubling them . Sometimes you have to take a break from, do not overload on the emotional load. Sometimes I take a friendcation. No I’m not going on a trip with my homies but I have to put the phone down, silence my chats, and just focus on myself for a little bit. Sometimes you have to alienate yourself in order to maintain your mental clarity... that’s a fact. There’s nothing like being so overwhelmed with life and feel like if you have to hear 1 more thing you’re going to explode. Back to Girl’s Trip..her perfect life seemed so untouchable, that no one could see how much she was really hurting, how Ryan had lost herself. We get so wrapped up in what we have going on that we forget our “strong” friend has moments of weakness as well. Here’s one phrase I hear, and I have to automatically gear up mentally because it’s about to be some stuff…. simply..”GIRL”...depending on the tone I know where the convo is headed. A deep sigh, and bring on the drama. When was the last time you called a friend with your load and began the conversation by asking how their day was? How are you feeling today? Just something to let them know I know you have feelings as well so let me check your mood before I lay this on you. I’ve had days I’ve had to deal with the craziness of working with inner city youth, administrators, then my phone goes off non-stop with everyone dumping their load on me so to speak. It’s not that I don’t want to be an ear because the fact my friends trust me with their business speaks volume. I personally don’t share too much with too many and I’m sure there’s one person who wishes sometimes I would hush ….(hence the reason I went back to writing and journaling). Understand your friends are your friends and love you. Also be aware of what is going on with them before you go all the way in. Through meditation I have learned how to let some thoughts not cloud my mind so I can enjoy the small victories. Your brain is like a computer or digital device; clear your cache every now and again. Sometimes us anxious control freaks have to relinquish control and admit when we are overwhelmed. We all need time to be alone in our thoughts and sort it out. No one wants to hurt their friends feeling or make them feel like they are being aggy, just realize we all get restless, and the world will have its way with all of us. Just make sure you show the same support, and willingness to listen when your strong friend needs your shoulder. To my strong friends, I was taught this valuable lesson, no one can bear the weight all the time. Trust that those who genuinely love you will allow you to be weak when you need to be. Be strong enough to be vulnerable. A girl’s trip could be the perfect remedy. I can’t wait until what we’ve got planned for 2018! Cheers xoxo -Sam