No One wins when the family feuds

“Nobody wins when the family feuds.” “We all screwed because we never had the tools” Lyric quotes courtesy of Hov’s infamous 4:44. In this new year when everyone is ready to leave everybody in 2017 I reflect on friendships, family ties, romantic relationships etc. There comes a time when all of us face harsh realities that someone we may love may not necessarily be in alignment with your personal goals wellness or doesn’t provide you the positivity you seek. I’m not one to preach on leaving people behind but I often wonder would I be happier with some people fading in the background of my life? Family…….blood is supposedly thicker than water but from personal experience ..lets just say I’d rather have more water than blood. How can one be prosperous without the love and respect of a strong family bond? I also pose this question, is it acceptable to dismiss members of your family if you feel as if they are not adding value to your life? I have friends that have known me more than half of my life. They can tell you my favorite color, movies, food. I have family members who couldn’t tell you my age, or those who still think I’m working on my undergrad. In the age of technology, what excuse do we have to not get to know our family members, organize a reunion, or even simpler say “hello”? Then those are some relationships that you are taught to “honor” someone who at times tears you down, or disrespects you. How are we supposed to uphold the teachings of our Father when it is one sided? I am not an overly religious person but I do know about honoring thy parents and parents adhering to similar rules. Parents are taught to learn the power in forgiveness, and to apologize to their children. It’s funny how I was never taught that during my bible studies as a child but found this during my adult years. I never thought children were to be apologized to by their parent hmmm...

In any relationship there must be a balance of love, trust, and respect. So back to Jay-Z…..never had the tools to make relationships work. What tools was our culture missing that we have such difficulty maintaining family ties and therefore every other relationships? I grew up being taught to respect our elders, honor thy mother and father. What about respect for everyone in the family from child to teenager? Do those people not deserve respect until they are of age? This has been a constant discussion in my family. I am a firm believer in the ideals of mutual respect, the Golden Rule... no matter what age. This is where I think the generational divide has really affected how we relate to many family members the elders in particular. The teachings of our generations are so different. I hope in time we won’t “leave people behind” but use tools of communication to be able to close these gaps. The intentions need to be mutual, intentional, and have a strong foundation of trust and openness. Before you close the door make sure you have explored and tried your very best!