Year 1
I sat on the couch in shock at what she just said to me. First thing that came to mind was, only people that really know me close know how long I’ve played with this idea. She told me,( I’ll never forget),your throat chakra, you’re stifling something creative writing perhaps? Do you write? I’ve been writing stories, journals, poetry, songs since I was in elementary school. It was in that instance I said this is it. The moment that phone call ended and I had received my spiritual guidance from Ms. Imani, I grabbed my laptop and just started writing. It had only been a few months since my diagnosis of P.A.D/mild depression, I was staring at the bottles of meds and decided my writing would be my medicine from now on. That’s how it started.
I wrote what I knew, I knew my diagnosis scared me, and I knew someone else may have the same worries so I wrote for them as well as myself. I wrote one then two, then i just kept going. Getting subscribers was a tough break! But, I was writing to heal, to open up some dialogue about some pressing issues. The followers would come, the word would spread in its own time. I remember just browsing on my site when I got notifications I had visitors on the site. I had people online reading what I had wrote in Seattle, London, Cleveland, Michigan. Wow! I was actually doing it, I took that chance on myself and did what I wanted to do.
By the time fall came I had been invited to speak at a few networking events, and my blog work spilled over into my work;ironically my supervisor had signed me up to participate in a youth mental health first aid course. When the class was over I asked her do you know why I was so attentive and taking notes? I told her about my diagnosis and she was blown away. Like most people she had no idea so I was then directed to take another course to further my study. Hopefully in the near future I will be certified to be an instructor on youth mental health first aid.
As I continued to write and grow, my faith in my abilities expanded as well. I was more confident in what I was doing, I was flexing a little. Next thing I knew it was winter I had written over 10 blogs and had an audience. It was all good. I started thinking, it’s time to upgrade. I need a logo, official licensing, ownership, I needed to be official. Slow your roll girlfriend. The winter months were rough, the death of my grandmother and two of her brothers opened up so many family issues as well as my own relationship woes. As I always do, I used the tough times as fuel to keep driving forward. I wrote more, began reading more, meditated harder, sat in quiet a lot more often, fell back from some people. I became at peace with a lot of inner challenges and that changed things around me. I cared less about things that were out of my control, I focused on me. I said no more often, I went places alone, I booked flights without second guessing. I was having my Eat Pray Love moment when the next bomb went off. My boyfriend called our relationship off. Uhhhh we just talked about marriage how did we get to this? Did I miss something? Apparently I had missed something but it was apparent that we were over at least for the time being. Another setback, just a set up for something else I suppose. I started writing my ass off, less social media, I had placed myself in my bubble. I really took time to figure out what I wanted, what I needed to make me happy and maybe I just hadn’t found it yet. If I had found it did I lose it at some point? So lets rewind a few years back, I fell in love with someone long distance years ago because of time, and distance it just didn’t work out but I always wondered what if? Well in a brief synopsis he’ll always be in the picture that’s my soulmate I declare it to the world. Whether we ever end up together or not, that’s what I know to be true. So a year after I start this journey I’m back to where I started trying to figure out how to make it on my own. How to keep pressing on when the odds seemed stacked against you. Well 1 year down and I have so much more planned. I’m ready to conquer my demons with my laptop in tow. Since I began my blog, I lost 1 grandparent, 1 step parent, and my relationship, my home/neighborhood was hit by a devastation, I almost lost my mom. If I can overcome all those things, anybody can. Here are some things I learned during this 1st year, hopefully this will encourage someone to go for it.
It will frustrate you, you will get tired and want to say forget it .
At times you will question your abilities, don’t keep going!
You will learn what true support feels like from some unlikely places.
Don’t beg for support, be persistent in your pursuit but don’t beg. People that want to support you will without hesitation.
Everybody can’t come…..let that sink in
Jump when opportunity presents itself.
Network, in some unlikely places you will meet people who will be genuinely interested in what it is you’re doing.
With all things stay humble
I know some of my social media followers probably wondered why I wanted to celebrate my 1st year of my blog, now you know why! It’s a small victory, but a win for me! Cheers to Year 1 !
Special thank to my readers, supporters, and my photographer Alicia Lightfoot