You blue me !
Tis the time of year for the pre-holiday planning, Shopping, cheer all around, and for many of us it’s time for the seasonal blues. This is just a quick blog to help parents,families and loved ones navigate through this tough season. It is evident that not everyone knows the sign /symptoms that come with being depressed I’m hoping these tips will help everyone communicate just a little bit better this holiday season.
ISOLATION people battling depression tend to want to spend time alone. It’s rough having to muster up the energy at work and in public. When the day is over we are exhausted and want to be alone. It’s nothing personal, we just need time to restore our energy and not have to talk. It’s healthy to spend time alone but be aware too much isolation can lead to further depression symptoms. To loved ones please understand it is not about you! It is not your fault but isolating makes us feel at ease and relaxes us when done in increments. Battling depression requires more physical /emotional energy than we have to offer. Be mindful, we are doing the best we can to still be present. We may not make every holiday party or gathering, we may leave events early, but we are trying. Do not be offended if we don’t call/talk as much. With some people can’t having extended conversation with is draining. I prefer texting. Again, not personal it’s more comfortable for me on low functioning days.
TRIGGERS Everyone has things that “set them off” or cause some disruption in their emotional state. Triggers are any environmental, biological, or genetic factors that contribute to the already existing state of sadness. This is critical advice, bringing up old situations that are unpleasant (deaths,sad situations, etc) is a big NO NO ! Pointing out the fact that someone is depressed ( I mean we already know, we don’t need you to point it out). No unkind words, certain words can trigger depression. Ironically enough, the people we are surrounded by everyday are more likely to say/do things that are triggering than anyone else. I can’t ask anyone to walk on eggshells but please just take a moment to think about what you’re saying and doing before you act. One small thing you say or do can be debilitating for days or even weeks.
TIREDT As I previously stated depression is draining. It is not only taxing on the mind but the body as well. Energy is so low if you think about it, it makes sense. The vitamin D is lacking, the days are shorter, its more darkness than there is light. Our bodies react to our environments and unfortunately it is a struggle to stay above water. We are always tired, trying to take naps, and just rest. Please do not refer to us as “lazy” and ask why we nap so much. Our bodies are fighting to maintain some normalcy so we are napping a little more than normal. We are tired just respect that we are indeed doing what we can.
SAVOR some days the sun comes out and things don’t seem so bad. we might be a little bit more social and willing to be among the crowds. Depression is subjective, it can change from one day to the next. In the midst of the darkness there are some good days. Take advantage of those times. Don’t bring up the depression or make comments like “I’m glad you’re over it” It’s not over its just switching gears. Just be supportive and try to enjoy the time you have with the sun. The good news is you won't be blue forever! More sunny days are ahead.
LISTEN UP Most people dealing with depression rarely speak out, for fear of judgement stereotyping, and unsolicited advice. If someone opens up to you, know they are trusting you with their feelings. Be respectful and responsible with your reactions, it's best to just listen for understanding, not to respond. We are not looking for advice just waiting for the opportunity to release and get some things off our chests. Listen please just listen! Don’t try to therapy people! Please don’t try to diagnose us.
STAY EDUCATED there are so many mental illnesses and subcategories. Do not generalize every illness into one big ball. I suggest just be aware of some of the illnesses and how much of an impact they have. It’s okay to ask questions for understanding within reason. When asking questions be mindful, to avoid offensive language or referring to mental illness as "your problem" these can be trigger word. Approach the situation with an open mind/heart.
Battling mental health is a very intense, wave of emotions. During this influx of seasonal depression, it is important that we are having these conversations. We don’t expect everyone to understand what we are dealing with, but we do expect compassion. On behalf of everyone battling seasonal depression please be respectful. The storm doesn’t last forever and I look forward to revisiting this conversation when spring has sprung.
Words of encouragement
Things will get better!
You are strong!
I’m proud of you!
You are not a liability!
I don’t understand, but I’m here when you need to talk!
I see you trying your best, I’m rooting for you!
Is it okay if I call to check on you?