Surviving the Holidaze
It seems like yesterday I was learning how to bake my first sweet potato pies. Still making a hot mess in the kitchen and trying to add my own flare to my granny’s recipe. Times certainly have changed since then, some for the good some for the not so good . I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little jealous of all the people getting together with their whole families having dinner, playing family games, seeing how big all the little ones have gotten. I’ve noticed changes in the family dynamics over the years and that has led me to the decision to opt out of the whole family thing this year. It’s just too much stress to deal with all the shenanigans that come with the whole family coming together. This one isn’t talking to me, I’m not talking to that one, these two fell out so I figure, why subject myself to any more stress? So In order to help my followers, I’ve prepared a “survival guide”,(if you will) for getting through the most wonderful time of year.
If you don’t have it , don’t spend it ! This applies to Thanksgiving, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, Christmas whatever it is you celebrate. We can’t always host at our homes, or afford what we’re being asked to contribute and that is okay! Do not feel bad for your financial situation it’s your reality. Instead volunteer to help with clean-up, bring the paper products, live within your means. Don’t go into debt this year, refrain from using credit cards ! You don't want to go into the new year with a new pile of debt. Here's a gift hack: A few years ago my core group of friends decided to start having sock exchanges at our annual holiday gathering. Everyone can participate and it’s budget friendly. How much you care for someone should not be determined by how much you spend. Just so my people know this is your Christmas gift this year, content! Because sis is on a budget!
Being around so many people can be overwhelming. Take breaks as needed from the festivities. There’s a good chance work will have a party, your family gatherings, Friendsgiving, Ugly Sweater parties. That’s a lot of cheer and merry time. It’s okay to turn some things down if you’re feeling overwhelmed. If at anytime you feel like you have to go for that special walk with your cousins before the turkey is carved, do it!
Create healthy boundaries Every family has at least 1 elder in the family who likes to get in everyone’s business. They love to judge, and ask all the personal questions that make you want to start drinking earlier than intended. Listen, that person has no right to interrogate you, its none of their damn business. I give you permission to check they ass this year. I’m crediting this tip to all the Thanksgiving clap backs memes I’ve studied online. My great aunt (God rest her soul) used to tear me to shreds. I used to cringe once I saw her pouring her scotch because I knew it was coming. This brings me to my next tip….
You do not have to play nice. You don’t owe anyone an explanation. Avoid family members who make you feel uncomfortable in anyway. I’m talking about the creepy uncle who keeps staring at you, the drunk aunt who won’t stop dishing out insults, or the stealing cousin you can’t leave your purse by. We all know at least one. The holidays are not an excuse for anyone to interrupt your mental peace. If you catch a negative vibe, it’s time to get your to-go plate and finish the festivities with people who bring you joy. No one has permission to disrupt your merry mood. I’m known for dipping out early and I’m unapologetic about it.
If you’re taking your new boo to meet your family prep them! Don’t lead them into a blind situation. Give them the real on who to talk to, who to keep an eye out for etc. I’ve never taken a boo home for the holidays because I know better. If you are taking this leap remember your personal relationship is not family gossip. Keep what’s going between you two out of the dinner table convo. It can get hella messy! As previously stated if you feel the air getting a little thick get out of there! Mission abort. Protect your personal business at all costs.
Know when enough is enough. I know we all want to pour up and get lit, it’s a celebration enjoy yourself! If you have seasonal sadness or if you are suffering from any mental illness, have drinks in moderation. Alcohol is a downer and can cause additional effects, especially when combined with medication. If you need to take the edge off ..there are alternatives that may help “lift your spirits.”
Keep your normal routine. It’s so easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of the season. If you have a regular schedule for laundry, cleaning, when you take naps, please stick to the normal schedule as much as possible. Changing up your regular routine can throw off your psyche more than you may realize. We as humans require some normalcy during chaotic times. Maybe write post it notes to yourself, create a reminder on your phone so you won't forget. With everything going on you still matter and so does your wellness.
As much as I love the holiday season there are several memories and people close to me that are triggers for me. So if I don’t show up to your shindig don’t be offended but I am practicing heavy self care this year. This season is all about reflecting on the positive, spreading cheer, and being kind to yourself and others . I encourage everyone to be loving this holiday season. Surround yourself with those who bring out the light in you. It is my hope to one day start my own healthy holidays with my own family and create new traditions. Peace and love to all !
xoxo-Sam